My Roma Christmas Story
Hi --I received a few emails so I thought I would write you all back at once.
It is day 22 here for me out of a possible 45 days at this point. This week was definitely the hardest. Christmas Eve and Christmas were harder to get through than I thought. But I do have one nice story to tell...
On Christmas Eve I found out Nic had an infection in his kidneys. He had another IV hooked to him for that medication. I found out his Apnea was back...where he stops breathing for 20 seconds once an hour and you have to flick his leg to jump start him literally...very exciting times. They have him on another IV giving him steroids to speed up his lungs for that.
His color was off and for the first time when I saw him off color I actually felt ill and had to leave the room to get myself together...nothing like cleaning "throw up" off of wires and monitors...so in general it was not a good day and my entire family was meeting for dinner to eat a dinner that I normally cook once a year...
Well I left the hospital on Christmas Eve I went to go to mass at the Vatican and then to return to the hospital just after midnight because at midnght in the baby ward they had a priest come to do their own mass and tape little baby Jesus' in a mangers inside each incubator that the pope blessed...so it was going to be a long night for me without sleep. Getting a cab in Rome on Christmas Eve in front of the Vatican is a fete in and of itself.
But first I had to check back into the hotel the Hilton Cavalieri in Rome where I was the night I went into labor. When I arrived I was beyond depressed and feeling kind of numb, but the hotel greeted me and had me sit down and told me my room wasn't ready. The woman [Karen] and head concierge [Markus] who had helped me when I went into labor two weeks earlier came over to me and said everything in the hotel is taken care of for you and I had no idea what she meant...but when I came to my room a huge room [not what I had paid for] overlooking Rome I was speechless... a basket with poinsettias, chocolates, fruit, and a bear for Nic with a card from the staff signed was also waiting. A letter was included from the manager saying all meals and drinks are also taken care of and asked me to stay indefinitely through january. Keep in mind this hotel charges 12 Euro or 15 bucks for a coke here. I was speechless. Everyone from the lady who brings me towels to the bellboy...knows who I am and they have gone overboard to help me.I didn't think I could handle one more thing that day but then the Hotel did this.
I hadn't slept in 48 hours and by Christmas I had a fever so I didn't think i oculd even see Nicolas on Christmas...I stayed in bed all day when visiting hours came I took my temp and was o.k....so I went to the hospital. As nice as the hotel had been I couldn't get out my funk.
I stood by Nic's incubator and stared at him and wondered how we were ever going to get well and get home...and what a wierd Christmas this had been and how weird it was to touch him through the plastic box. I hated that I couldn't talk to the staff or other parents about stuff and no one on shift that night spoke English.
At ten to 8 when visiting hours ended and I was the only mother left in the room and Christmas was almost over...a male nurse I had never seen before came in and told me to "sit down"...He took out a fresh towel I thought to change Nicolas' bed...but instead he handed the towel to me and opened the incubator [just like a present box!!!] and handed me my son for the first time and shut the door behind him and I sat there for 30 minutes just Nic and I and we finally got to talk...it was my only present I opened that day but boy was it good...and so my Hope rises again...attached is a picture the nurse took for me...of that night. Remember I hadn't slept in three days and the pic was taken through blinds so it is dark but you can still see us...see our christmas. I hope yours was just as good.
I don't know when I am coming home at this point...Nicolas is still hooked up to a lot of medication and everyday is different...but I will keep you posted. One postscript...The last utlrasound of his brain shows the inflammation is disappearing and the Doctor told me his brain looks normal...she also said if nothing else I came to Rome for that experimental drug...Nic will be written up in their literature they are publishing on their use of the drug in preemies.
posted by Tonto @ 10:03 PM
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